Red apple tick — how to deal with it?

Red apple tick — how to deal with it?

This color makes a difference. Choose ( RED ) .
Save lives.

Now through September 30, Apple is partnering with (RED) to redirect 100% of eligible proceeds from (PRODUCT)RED purchases to the Global Fund’s COVID‑19 Response. This will provide critical support in health systems most threatened by the outbreak and, in turn, help preserve lifesaving HIV/AIDS programs in sub-Saharan Africa. *

iPhone 11 and (PRODUCT)RED

iPhone XR and (PRODUCT)RED

iPhone SE and (PRODUCT)RED

Every (RED) purchase helps fight AIDS.

100% of all money generated by (RED) partners goes to fund HIV/AIDS programs on the ground in sub‑Saharan Africa.

Leather iPhone Cases

iPhone 11 Pro Max Leather Case

Funding goes directly to people most impacted by HIV/AIDS.

Your support can help bring an end to this pandemic in our lifetime.

Silicone iPhone Cases

iPhone 11 Pro Max Silicone Case

iPhone 7
Smart Battery Case

HIV medication keeps a mother and her baby alive and healthy.

One pill a day can reduce the risk of HIV transmission during pregnancy to near zero.

Apple Watch Bands

Your support means fewer babies are born with HIV.

In the year 2000, 1200 babies were
born every day with HIV.
Today that
number has been reduced to 400.

iPad Accessories

10.5-inch iPad Pro Leather Sleeve

iPad Air and iPad Leather Smart Cover

iPad Smart Cover

HIV/AIDS is treatable. So let’s make medication more accessible.

The cost of lifesaving medication has dropped from $27 a day to 20 cents a day. But there’s still work to do.

www.apple.com

Red apple tick — how to deal with it?

This colour
makes a
difference.
Choose ( RED ) .
Save lives.

From now until 30 September, Apple is partnering with (RED) to redirect 100% of eligible proceeds from (PRODUCT)RED purchases to the Global Fund’s COVID‑19 Response Fund. This will provide critical support in health systems most threatened by the outbreak and, in turn, help preserve lifesaving HIV/AIDS programmes in sub-Saharan Africa. *

iPhone 11 and (PRODUCT)RED

iPhone XR and (PRODUCT)RED

Every (RED) purchase helps fight AIDS.

100% of all money generated by (RED) partners goes to fund HIV/AIDS programmes on the ground in sub‑Saharan Africa.

Leather iPhone Cases

iPhone 11 Pro Max Leather Case

iPhone 11 Pro Leather Case

iPhone 8 / 7 Leather Case

iPhone 8 / 7 Plus Leather Case

Funding goes directly to people most impacted by HIV/AIDS.

Your support can help bring an end to this pandemic in our lifetime.

Silicone iPhone Cases

iPhone 11 Pro Max Silicone Case

iPhone 11 Pro Silicone Case

iPhone 7 Smart Battery Case

HIV medication keeps a mother and her baby alive and healthy.

One pill a day can reduce the risk of HIV transmission during pregnancy to near zero.

www.apple.com

Big Kid Problems Sarah Merrill

Listen on Apple Podcasts

Based on the comedic platform @BigKidProblems all about navigating adulthood and the life transitions that come with it. Each week, we’ll take a funny yet informative look at a specific struggle facing 20-30 somethings today with a rotating cast of experts, personalities, and celebrity guests.

From money & budgeting, love & relationships, career & hustling, hangovers, health & wellness, and just general #adulting lessons, this show will give you tools and resources to survive the real world while making you laugh along the way.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

37. Love & Sex in Quarantine! Getting in the Mood, Getting Creative, & Not Killing your Partner with Sexologist Michelle Hope

We’re talking about Love and Sex in Quarantine with Sexologist Michelle Hope!

36. The Depression Episode, Warning Signs, Managing Emotions & Supporting your People w/Annabelle DeSisto & Dr. Daryl Appleton

Today, we talk about depression with Dr. Annabelle Desisto and Dr. Daryl Appleton

35. Clear your Brain Fog, Boost Productivity & Live a “Genius Life” with NY Times Bestseller Max Lugavere

New York Times Bestselling Author Max Lugavere joins the show to talk all about ways to optimize your brain and body!

34. The Fuckboy Pandemic: Spotting Red Flags and Curing your Addiction to the Bad Ones with Carl Radke and Mary Beth Barone

We’re talking about a DIFFERENT pandemic in this episode: The Fuckboy Pandemic.

33. Calming your Coronavirus Fears & Anxieties + Staying Sane in Quarantine with Dr. Paige Bourassa

Friend of the show Dr. Paige Bourassa joins us this week and we’ll talk about Coronavirus and more specifically, how to deal with the stress, anxiety and all the uncertainty around this difficult time.

32. Manifesting, Up-leveling, and starting 2020 with the RIGHT Energy with Energy Healer Millana Snow

It is a brand new year and a brand new DECADE and in today’s episode we are learning how to let go of old, dusty energy and bring in those GOOD VIBES for 2020.

podcasts.apple.com

Apple’s new red iPhone has an ugly side

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I love the color red. Here are many things that are red in the world that are wonderful:

  • Tomatoes
  • Tomato ketchup
  • Fire trucks
  • Ronald McDonald’s hair
  • London buses
  • YouTube
  • Netflix
  • Ferrari cars
  • Stop signs
  • Rudolph’s nose
  • Mr potato head’s nose
  • The red nose, nose

Anyway, you get my point. Red things are generally pretty good and are red for a reason. That’s why I was excited to learn that Apple is creating a special red iPhone, and partnering with Product Red to fight AIDS worldwide. It sounded pretty awesome, until I realized the red iPhone isn’t red.

First things first, the red iPhone is “red” at the back, but it’s really crimson instead of the red you’d expect. It’s a deeper red than a coke can, but I’m ok with that because it’s a red iPhone. Imagine my shock when I learned that the red iPhone isn’t really a red iPhone at all, though. The front of the iPhone is WHITE.

Now, I understand this is in keeping with the white found on the Product Red iPod Touch, but white on an iPod (that’s known for being white) makes total sense. White on such a deep red iPhone makes zero sense. Thankfully, Benjamin Geskin (who loves making product renders) has created a red and black version of the red iPhone 7.

It reminds me of the U2 iPod, but the combination is far nicer than red and white. Ultimately I’d love to see a true red iPhone with barely any bezels, but a white and red iPhone definitely isn’t for me. Drake knows what’s up:

See also:  Flea Allergy Dermatitis in Cats

www.theverge.com

50 Things to Make with Apples

Related To:

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Food Stylist: Brett Kurzweil Prop Stylist: Pam Morris

Photo by: Kang Kim

1. Dried Apples: Core 1 small apple; slice into 1/8-inch-thick rounds. Arrange on an oiled baking sheet and bake at 200 degrees F until dry but still soft, 2 to 3 hours.

Photo by: Andrew Purcell

2. Apple Popcorn Balls: Make Dried Apples (No. 1); chop enough to make 1/2 cup. Boil 1 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup each butter and light corn syrup, and 1/4 teaspoon salt until a candy thermometer reaches 300 degrees F, about 8 minutes. Mix with 6 cups popcorn, 1/2 cup chopped pecans and the chopped dried apples. Transfer to a buttered pan; cool slightly, then form into balls.

3. Apple Granita: Simmer 4 cups apple juice with 1 cinnamon stick, 2 cloves and 1 strip orange zest, 10 minutes; strain and cool. Freeze in an 8-inch-square pan. To serve, scrape with a fork; top with minced green apple and candied ginger tossed with lemon juice.

4. Boozy Apple Granita: Make Apple Granita (No. 3), adding 1/4 cup bourbon, Calvados or applejack brandy before freezing.

5. Apple-Salmon Crostini: Mix 2 tablespoons each creme fraiche and finely diced green apple with 1 tablespoon chopped chives. Spread on toasted baguette slices. Top with smoked salmon and julienned apples.

Photo by: Andrew Purcell

6. Scary Apple Mouths: Quarter and core a red apple; brush with lemon juice. Cut out a wedge from the skin side of each piece so it looks like a mouth. Fill with peanut butter, then insert sliced almonds for «teeth.»

Applesauce_02.tif

Food Stylist: Brett Kurzweil Prop Stylist: Pam Morris

Photo by: Kang Kim

7. Applesauce: Quarter 4 pounds apples. Simmer with 1 cup water, 3 tablespoons sugar and a pinch of salt, partially covered, until soft, 25 to 30 minutes. Pass through a food mill. Whisk in 2 tablespoons butter.

8. Herbed Applesauce: Make Applesauce (No. 7), adding 1 sprig each rosemary, sage and thyme before cooking.

9. Spiced Applesauce: Make Applesauce (No. 7), replacing the sugar with 1/4 cup brown sugar and adding 6 allspice berries, 1 cinnamon stick and 1 1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice before cooking. Remove the cinnamon before milling.

10. Apple Butter: Cook 1/2 cup sugar in a large skillet until deep amber. Add 4 cups Applesauce (No. 7) and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon; cook, stirring occasionally, until reduced by half, about 30 minutes.

Photo by: Andrew Purcell

11. Wine-Poached Apples: Boil 1 bottle red wine, 3/4 cup sugar, 1 cinnamon stick, 1 star anise pod and 3 strips orange zest in a medium saucepan. Add 4 peeled crisp, tart apples and simmer until tender, 30 minutes. Remove the apples; strain the liquid and boil until syrupy. Serve the apples and syrup over yogurt.

12. Apple Fritters: Whisk 1/2 cup each flour and seltzer with a pinch each of salt and apple pie spice. Slice 2 peeled and cored apples into 1/4-inch-thick rings. Dip in the batter and deep-fry in 375 degrees F oil until golden; drain on paper towels and dust with confectioners’ sugar.

13. Apple-Braised Cabbage: Cook 4 cups shredded red cabbage and 1 chopped apple in a skillet with 3 tablespoons each butter, cider vinegar and water over medium heat, covered, until tender, 20 minutes.

Photo by: Andrew Purcell

14. Witch’s Candy Apples: Melt 1 1/4 cups cherry hard candies and 1 tablespoon light corn syrup in a small saucepan over medium heat (the mixture will be bubbly). Insert wooden sticks into 4 apples; dip in the candy coating. Set on oiled parchment paper to harden.

Photo by: Andrew Purcell

15. Caramel Apples: Cook 1 1/2 cups sugar and 1/2 cup water in a saucepan over medium heat, swirling, until golden. Off the heat, stir in 1/4 cup cream and 1/4 teaspoon each vanilla and salt. Transfer to a 4-cup liquid measuring cup; cool slightly. Insert wooden sticks into 4 apples; dip in the caramel. Set on oiled parchment paper to harden.

16. Mulled Cider: Bring 6 cups apple cider to a simmer with 1 cinnamon stick, 4 allspice berries, 1 star anise pod and 3 strips lemon zest. To serve, add diced apples.

17. Apple Cake: Whisk 1 1/4 cups flour, 3/4 cup sugar, 1 teaspoon baking powder and 1/2 teaspoon each salt, baking soda, cinnamon and nutmeg. Shred 1 apple and squeeze dry, then whisk with 2 eggs, 1/2 cup each vegetable oil and milk, and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Fold into the flour mixture. Bake in a buttered 9-inch-round pan at 350 degrees F, 20 minutes; cool. Beat 8 ounces cream cheese, 1/2 stick butter, 1 cup confectioners’ sugar, 1 teaspoon each lemon juice and vanilla, and a pinch of salt; spread on the cake.

18. Bacon-Apple Dates: Stuff pitted dates with small apple pieces. Wrap each in 1/2 slice bacon and secure with a toothpick. Bake on a parchment-lined baking sheet at 425 degrees F until crisp, 20 minutes.

Apple_Onion_Bruschetta_05.tif

Food Stylist: Brett Kurzweil Prop Stylist: Pam Morris

Photo by: Kang Kim

19. Apple-Onion Bruschetta: Cook 2 sliced onions in oil over medium heat until caramelized, 35 minutes. Add 3 tablespoons Calvados and cook until evaporated. Spread on baguette slices, top with apple slices and sprinkle with grated gruyere. Broil until the cheese melts.

20. Apple-Pork Burgers: Mix 1 pound ground pork, 1/2 pound uncased fresh breakfast sausage, 1 small grated apple, 1 grated garlic clove, 1 teaspoon kosher salt, and pepper to taste. Form into four 1/2-inch-thick patties and cook in an oiled skillet over medium-high heat, 4 to 5 minutes per side. Serve on buns with Swiss cheese, bacon, mustard and sliced apple.

21. Sausage-Apple Skewers: Thread 1-inch chunks of apple, bratwurst and red onion on skewers; brush with oil. Grill over medium-high heat, turning, until lightly charred, 10 minutes.

22. Apple Chutney: Combine 2 chopped apples, 1/2 chopped red onion, 1 teaspoon minced ginger and 1/4 cup each chopped dried apricots, dried cranberries, sugar and red wine vinegar. Cook until the apples are tender, 15 minutes.

23. Apple Sauerkraut: Cook 1 diced apple and a large pinch each of caraway seeds, ground allspice and sugar in 2 tablespoons butter until slightly soft. Stir in 1 pound drained, rinsed sauerkraut and warm through.

24. Apple-Sausage Sandwich: Grill or pan-fry your favorite chicken-apple sausage links. Serve in a hot dog bun with mustard and Apple Sauerkraut (No. 23).

25. Pork Chop Choucroute: Brown 2 smoked pork chops in oil in a large skillet. Meanwhile, make Apple Sauerkraut (No. 23); add to the pork with 1/4 cup white wine and 2 cups each chicken broth and water. Simmer 30 minutes.

26. Big Apple Cocktail: Steep 2 chopped tart apples in 2 cups whiskey overnight; strain. For each cocktail, shake 2 ounces of the apple whiskey, 1/2 ounce sweet vermouth and 2 teaspoons maraschino cherry juice in a shaker with ice. Strain into a cocktail glass and garnish with an apple wedge and maraschino cherry.

27. Potato-Apple Pancakes: Peel and shred 1 apple and 1 small russet potato; squeeze dry. Mix with 2 tablespoons flour, 1 teaspoon kosher salt and a pinch of nutmeg. Fry heaping spoonfuls in butter in a skillet over medium heat, turning, 4 minutes per side.

28. Apple-Horseradish Sauce: Whisk 3/4 cup applesauce, 1/4 cup each grated peeled apple and sour cream, 2 tablespoons horseradish, and salt to taste.

29. Apple-Brie Polenta: Bring 3 cups water and 1 cup apple cider to a boil. Whisk in 1 cup instant polenta and 1/2 cup grated peeled apple and simmer, whisking, until thick, about 5 minutes. Stir in 1 tablespoon chopped sage, 1/2 cup brie (rind removed) and 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt.

30. Apple-Mustard Chicken: Cook 1 each chopped onion and apple in butter in a skillet until soft. Add 1 cup chicken broth, 1/8 cup prunes and 2 tablespoons whole-grain mustard. Add 4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts; cover and poach over low heat until cooked through, 15 minutes. Add 1/4 cup cream, and salt, pepper and chopped dill to taste; bring to a simmer to thicken.

See also:  How to Get Rid of Fleas Naturally with Baking Soda and Salt, Cuteness

www.foodnetwork.com

5 scientific secrets to handling a narcissist

You must be tired of them. They’re everywhere. Narcissists. And if you think there are more of them than ever, you’re right. Research shows we are experiencing a narcissism epidemic.

In data from 37,000 college students, narcissistic personality traits rose just as fast as obesity from the 1980s to the present, with the shift especially pronounced for women. The rise in narcissism is accelerating, with scores rising faster in the 2000s than in previous decades.

Even music is getting more narcissistic. And what do most people on Twitter tweet about? Themselves, of course.

(And as for selfies… well, do I really need to link to any research about narcissism and selfies? No? Thank you.)

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Now we all have a little narcissism in us and these days we have a lot more than we need around us.

Let’s learn more about what narcissism is, how to deal with narcissists — and even a bit about what to do if you feel you’re becoming one yourself.

You have entered the selfie-free zone. Let’s get to it…

What’s The Deal With Narcissism?

As Twenge and Campbell explain in The Narcissism Epidemic, it’s a myth that narcissism is just “high self-esteem” or that underneath it all narcissists are insecure and overcompensating.

Narcissists believe they really are that awesome — and you’re not. (The latter part doesn’t matter, narcissists don’t think about you much at all, frankly.)

How can you tell if someone is a narcissist? It’s easy; just ask them. Research shows narcissists feel so good about themselves they don’t mind admitting it.

And narcissism can be quite beneficial in the short term. They make fantastic first impressions. In job interviews and on first dates, narcissists get results. And in youth, being a narcissist makes you happier.

Narcissists are more likely to become leaders and narcissists who obsessively work hard are more likely to get promoted. But the stuff that works for them so well in the short term proves lethal in the long term.

That job interview is great but UPenn professor Scott Barry Kaufman explains that after three weeks people regard narcissists as untrustworthy. And narcissists might become leaders but they’re not good ones. And when prestige isn’t on the line, most narcissists don’t work that hard.

…college students with inflated views of themselves (who think they are better than they actually are) make poorer grades the longer they are in college. They are also more likely to drop out. In another study, students who flunked an introductory psychology course had by far the highest narcissism scores, and those who made A’s had the lowest.

Awesome first date? Yeah, but relationship satisfaction with them shows a big decline after 4 months. As adults, narcissists aren’t happy. And if you’re around them, you won’t be either.

A recent psychiatric study found that the biggest consequences of narcissism— especially when other psychiatric symptoms were held constant— was suffering by people close to them.

(To learn the four rituals neuroscience research says will make you happy, click here.)

So how do you deal with them? Here are 5 strategies from scientific research:

1) The Quick Answer: Don’t

I’m going to get grief for this being the first solution but it is by far the best answer and one that we should all take to heart more often.

Narcissists lack empathy, they usually don’t work hard, and in a few weeks to a few months they make the people around them miserable. And narcissism is very hard to change. So, if at all possible, just stay away.

Some will say, “But I’m smarter than they are. I can change them!” Stop it, now you’re being narcissistic.

If you dig 80’s movies you might remember “War Games.” What did the computer realize about thermonuclear war? The only way to win was not to play.

What do rational people scream at the TV when watching haunted house movies? “GET OUT NOW!”

When there’s blood all over the living room, furniture is floating through the air and ghosts are speaking to you in Latin, smart people don’t prepare to battle the undead, they get out immediately and make an angry phone call to their realtor.

As MIT negotiation professor John Richardson says: never start with, “How do I make this deal?” Start with, “Should this deal be made?” With narcissists, the answer is usually no. It’s not worth it.

(To learn how to be happier and more successful without being a narcissist, click here.)

Okay, before the internet commenters tear me apart for the obvious answer of “Don’t deal with narcissists,” let’s move on.

There are plenty of times where we just don’t have a choice. You may have a narcissistic boss, co-worker or family member. Luckily, there are answers…

2) Kiss Up Or Shut Up

Yeah, this isn’t a popular answer either. Sorry. But if you’re dealing with a narcissist and you’re in the less powerful position (like they’re your boss) there may not be a choice. At least not right now.

Clinical psychologist Al Bernstein recommends you kiss up to them or at least keep your mouth shut until you can get the heck out of there.

There is no way around this. If you want to communicate effectively with narcissists, you have to admire them, their achievements, and their toys as much as they do. Typically, this won’t require any great effort. They’ll be more than happy to come up with reasons to congratulate themselves. All you have to do is listen and look interested.

There’s this concept called “narcissistic injury.” Pointing out a narcissist isn’t all they think they are can be like pulling the pin on a grenade. A grenade you have to see every day of your life.

Realize that narcissism is an identity, just like religion or politics. When you argue about it, people don’t fold or change their minds — they just hate you. And narcissists are among the most vindictive people you’ll ever meet.

You might reply, “But I’m right about them!” You may very well be. But that only makes the situation worse. Burst their narcissistic bubble and you will pay. Dearly.

And if you’re in the lower-power position in this relationship, as with an employer, well, you may have found a way to get away from them… along with two weeks severance.

Reject them and they’ll freak out. Act weak and they’ll try to victimize you. Expose them and they’ll hate you forever. (Trust me, I’ve tested all these personally — and in a single conversation.) It’s just not worth it.

(To learn how to improve your self-esteem without becoming a narcissist, click here.)

Alright, here’s where the rubber meets the road. If you can’t get away from them, and they don’t have power over you, how do you deal with a narcissist?

3) Know What You Want And Get Payment Up Front

Don’t expect fairness. They’re just about themselves, right? Well, okay then. Know what you want. (They will, trust me.)

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And then get them to pay up front with whatever it is you need before they get what they need. Al Bernstein explains:

Never extend credit to, or accept promises from, a narcissist. As soon as they get what they want, they will be on to the next thing, forgetting whatever they said they would do for you. Sometimes they make promises they don’t intend to keep, but just as often, they merely forget. Either way, you should keep a ledger in your mind and make sure you get what they dangle in front of you before you give them what they want. With other people, this mercenary approach might seem insulting. Narcissists will respect you for it. Everything in their world is quid pro quo. They will rarely be offended by people looking out for themselves.

Dealing with a narcissist regularly is like having a pet tiger: you always have to be careful that one day he’s gonna see you as dinner. But if you don’t have a choice, negotiate hard. This is nobody to be win-win with.

Always reward behavior, never words. They get what they want when they do what you want.

Now I’ve been very negative toward narcissists (understandably) but they can be worked with and can even be good employees. Yes, really.

Why? Because they want something. They really need to look good. And if you can align your desires with their desires, you may find yourself with an unstoppable achievement machine.

One possibility is to set up a situation where acts of caring and kindness are aligned with admiration and success. In other words, show narcissists that they can get their narcissistic needs met by acting like decent, caring people.

Give them a way to be impressive if they do what they are told. This makes them much easier to deal with than lazy people, trust me. Just make sure you get what you want first.

(To learn how to negotiate from the FBI’s lead hostage negotiator, click here.)

But what if you’re not in a position to reward them with what they crave? How can you keep a rampaging narcissist in line?

4) Ask Them, “What Would People Think?”

Narcissists don’t feel guilt, only shame. They’re all about appearances, right?

If they believe something will hurt their reputation, they will think twice. Al Bernstein explains:

If you are in a position to advise, ask what people would think. Narcissists are not stupid; there are just things, like other people’s feelings, that they rarely consider. If you have their ear, don’t tell them how people might react; instead, ask probing questions. Narcissists are much more likely to act on ideas that they think they thought up themselves.

Emphasize community and use disappointment, rather than anger, to keep them in line. They want to look good. So help them look good by helping them do good.

(To learn an FBI behavior expert’s secrets for how to get people to like you, click here.)

This piece is about how to deal with narcissists… well, what if the narcissist is you? It’s an epidemic, remember? And if you’re not a narcissist, you might be infected. As the studies show, plenty of others have been recently.

So how do you avoid becoming a narcissist — or stop being one?

5) Be Dexter

We all have some narcissism in us. It’s natural. And narcissism may work for you now but, as we saw, the odds are very very much against it bringing you success, good relationships and happiness in the long term.

So how do you stop being a narcissist or make sure you don’t become one? You need to make sure you maintain empathy for others.

Stop trying to stand out, get attention and be so darn special. Al Bernstein says:

Narcissists will be further damaged by just about any situation in which they are treated as different from ordinary people.

It’s okay to be ordinary. (And if that concept terrifies you, you are already on the narcissistic side of things, so read this piece on empathy now.)

Problem is, overcoming narcissism is hard and takes a long time. And if you’re a hard-working narcissist, it may be bringing you enough rewards in the short term to feel like it’s a good idea for the long term.

What do you do then? Redirect your narcissism.

I offer you a new role model: Dexter. Yes, the serial killer who kills serial killers. (I know, Dexter is a psychopath not a narcissist but, jeez, work with me here, okay?)

Dexter has a problem — a serious problem, no doubt — but he tries to be good.

Dexter acts ordinary. He struggles to develop empathy. And he redirects his impulses to do things that benefit other people. (That’s where the comparison ends. I’m not telling you to kill anyone, okay?)

This attitude (sans chopping people up) can produce results.

…if you can’t stop feeding the ego, you can align your narcissism with behaviors that help the community.

I’m sure a lot of narcissists run charities. And they get lauded, praised and admired. I’m okay with that kind of narcissist.

(To learn how to fight your own narcissism, click here.)

Okay, let’s round this up and get the final secret on how to deal with the me-me-me people…

Sum Up

Here’s how to deal with a narcissist:

  • Don’t. Think haunted house. Get out of there first chance you can.
  • Kiss Up Or Shut Up. If they’re your boss or they have power over you, fighting makes it worse.
  • Know What You Want And Get Payment Up Front. Don’t assume they’ll play fair.
  • Ask, “What would people think?” They want to look good. If they think they’ll look bad, they’ll behave.
  • Be Dexter. If the dark side of The Force has you, channel your need to look awesome into helping others.

In the long run, narcissists almost always lose. We see plenty on TV, but those are the very few that got lucky. And, trust me, they’re not all happy.

Stay away if you can, otherwise you will be victimized by them or, even worse, you will become one of them. When I spoke to Stanford professor Bob Sutton, he told me his #1 piece of advice to students was this:

When you take a job take a long look at the people you’re going to be working with — because the odds are you’re going to become like them, they are not going to become like you.

And if you spend more time with good people you will become, um, good-er. Here’s Yale professor Nicholas Christakis:

We’ve shown that altruistic behavior ripples through networks and so does meanness. Networks will magnify whatever they are seeded with. They will magnify Ebola and fascism and unhappiness and violence, but also they will magnify love and altruism and happiness and information.

Every chance you get, surround yourself with people who are good to you. And be good to them.

Don’t fight narcissism. Starve it.

Join over 285,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email here.

www.theladders.com

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