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Caterpillar Control

SERIES 25 Episode 25

Sophie gives some tips on managing caterpillars

«The caterpillars laid by the Cabbage White Butterfly have been having a field day in my vegie patch,» says Sophie. «They are most active in autumn and spring, but still do damage in winter and can cause a lot of damage very quickly. There are a number of ways to deal with them.»

«If you can find them, one obvious way to deal with them is simply to squash them or feed them to your chooks — they’ll love them.»

«Chooks can also help in another way. A number of gardeners have great success by getting old egg shells and scattering them around their new seedlings. The Cabbage White Butterfly comes along, lays its eggs on the eggshells and then once a week, you simply gather up the eggshells, mush them up and put them in the compost and deal with the caterpillars that way.»

«My preferred method is actually to exclude the damage in the first place. Vegetable mesh is soft and flexible and stops the White Cabbage Butterfly from laying its eggs on your plant in the first place. I made a temporary frame out of old polypipe and garden stakes and put it over my new seedlings when I planted them, but you don’t actually need the frame. The mesh is soft and flexible enough that if you simply have it sitting on top of growing plants.»

«A weird thing about the Cabbage White Butterfly is that they’re territorial — that means if they see something that looks like a butterfly in the area, they won’t go there. I do have some friends that string up bits of cubed styrofoam — or even styrofoam packing beads on fishing line — and hang them above their vegie garden. It looks a little bit feral for me, so I like cutting up old, white icecream or yoghurt containers in the shapes of butterflies, putting them on stakes and then plonking them in the garden. You probably need four to six per square metre. They won’t produce perfect vegies, but they’ll certainly reduce the problem.»

«When it comes to sprays, I’m a bit lazy — but there is an organic bio-insecticide (Bacillus thuringiensis or BT) that you can use and it works really well. What I’ve noticed is vegies growing in good soil are less damaged by the caterpillars than vegies growing in poor soil, so obviously soil health has a big part to play — also the variety you grow. For example, I have two different sorts of kales. The Tuscan Black Kale or Cavolo Nero gets hammered by caterpillars in my garden, so I prefer to grow Red Russian Kale. It doesn’t seem to interest them at all!» Sophie says.

«And as a gardening friend of mine once said, ‘You can eat holes — they cook up really well.'»

Transcript

SOPHIE THOMSON: Gotcha!

Now this little creature’s been having a field day in my vegie patch. It’s the caterpillar laid by the Cabbage White Butterfly — most active in autumn and spring, but it still does damage in winter and it can cause a lot of damage very quickly. There are a number of ways to deal with them and I’m going to show you how.

If you can find them, one obvious way to deal with them is simply to squash them or feed them to your chooks — they’ll love them.

Chooks can also help in another way. A number of gardeners have great success by getting old egg shells and scattering them around their new seedlings. Now these new cabbages would be delicious for caterpillars, so by scattering the eggshells around, the Cabbage White Butterfly comes along, it lays its eggs on the eggshells and then once a week, you simply gather up the eggshells, smoush them up and put them in the compost and deal with the caterpillars that way.

My preferred method of having perfect plants is actually to exclude the damage in the first place. This stuff is vegetable mesh. It’s soft and flexible and it stops the White Cabbage Butterfly from laying its eggs on your plant in the first place. Now, I made a temporary frame out of old polypipe and garden stakes and put it over my new seedlings when I planted them, but you don’t actually need the frame — this is soft and flexible enough that if you simply have it sitting on growing plants, they’ll push their way up — and you can see the difference it’s made. This Kohlrabi was grown under the mesh and the one there was outside the mesh and it’s been hammered.

A weird thing about the Cabbage White Butterfly is that they’re territorial and that means if they see something that looks like a butterfly in the area, they won’t go there. Now I do have some friends that string up bits of cubed styrofoam — or even styrofoam packing beads on fishing line and hang it above their vegie garden. Now that looks a little bit feral for me, so I like cutting up old icecream containers, old yoghurt containers in the shapes of butterflies, put them on stakes and then all you need to do is plonk them in the garden. Now you probably need about 4 to 6 per square metre and you’re not going to get perfection but you’re certainly going to reduce your problem.

When it comes to sprays, I’m a bit lazy, however there is an organic bio-insecticide that you can use and it works really well. What I’ve noticed is vegies growing in good soil are less damaged by the caterpillars than vegies growing in poor soil, so obviously soil health has a big part to play — also the variety you grow. Now these are 2 different sorts of kales. This is the Tuscan Black Kale orCavolo nero. In my garden it gets hammered by caterpillars, so I prefer to grow the Red Russian Kale. This one doesn’t seem to interest them at all.

And as a gardening friend of mine once said, «You can eat holes. they cook up really well.»

COSTA GEORGIADIS: Now Tino’s been champing at the bit to visit a beautiful spring garden, filled with Rhododendrons — just south of Hobart. He’s finally got his chance. check it out.

www.abc.net.au

Cabbage White Butterfly

How to deal with a white cabbage butterfly invasion

A cabbage white butterfly invasion will leave your salad greens in tatters. While it’s lovely to see a fluttering of whiteness dancing around your veggies, there’s a nasty side. They lay their eggs on the leaves of your plants so that the caterpillars will have plenty to eat when they hatch. And eat they do. If, like me, you’ve had your greens decimated by the white cabbage butterfly caterpillar, you’ll be interested in solutions.

Cabbage white butterfly is sometimes called a cabbage moth, although cabbage moths are actually a separate species (that can also cause a lot of trouble.) The cabbage white butterfly is about 4 cm wide and has black spots on its wings.

Those who have had their mizuna stripped, their pak choy reduced to lacework and their silverbeet patterned with holes will be no fan of the cabbage white butterfly. Some for you, some for me just doesn’t seem to work, the caterpillars take it all. To make matters worse, they leave a mess of tiny poo balls clustered into the base of your plants. Yuk!

Prevention

Scatter crushed eggshells around the base of your plants to deter the butterflies from laying their eggs. They think there’s too much competition and go elsewhere. The eggshells have to be quite thick. I tried mixing my kitchen compost, which had a fair amount of crushed eggshells in it, into the top layer of my container mix but it wasn’t thick enough.

Cover your containers or garden beds with fine netting. Half hoops placed over the growing space provide a frame for the netting. This will solve a number of insect problems for you, including blocking grasshoppers from your veggies. The drawback is that it also blocks out the friendlier insects such as the ladybugs and bees. If you do use this method to cover your veggie patch, plant a lavender or rosemary bush for the bees instead.

Cut out butterfly shapes from pieces of thin white plastic such as old icecream container lids. Attach these to the end of 30-40cm lengths of coat hanger wire and stick them into the ground around your veggies. It will look like there is already a gang of white cabbage butterflies in residence. This is another trick that makes them think there is too much competition and go elsewhere.

The good old-fashioned pick ‘em off method. kids love this job and the chooks will love cleaning them up for you. Even the dog will eat them if the kids toss them in the dogfood bowl while you’re not looking.

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Believe it or not this can be quite a relaxing and satisfying activity. I found it took several days of decreasing yields to reduce our cabbage butterfly caterpillar population to manageable levels. Ongoing monitoring is required. The best time to pick is early in the morning before too much direct sun has driven the caterpillars deeper into your plants. I did find caterpillars out and about at other random times of day, but morning seems to be the time they go out exploring and seeking greener pastures.

www.growingraw.com

Organic Controls For Cabbage White Butterfly

Every time I plant brassicas, I do so with a mix of excitement and dread – while I am looking forward to harvesting the heads and leaves, I know that voracious and destructive green caterpillars are also going to enjoy this crop.

Be prepared with some organic controls for Cabbage White Butterfly (Pieris rapae), so that when they inevitably arrive you are ready to take action!

If you are out in the garden most days, it can be simple enough to just pick off the grubs as you see them. Keep in mind that they can start being destructive even while very small. But the sheer numbers of caterpillars appearing may lead you to use both preventative methods and sprays to control them.

However, if the sheer numbers of caterpillars appearing becomes overwhelming – then consider these organic methods to control them.

First Things First – Identification

It is important to know what you are dealing with. The adult Cabbage White Butterfly is a small white butterfly with black spots on the wings. They hover and dip over the plants in the garden as they fly around, which means they are either seeking an egg laying position (females), or looking for a mate (males).

It is the caterpillars emerging from the eggs laid on the underside of the leaves that cause the damage. They strongly prefer the brassica or cruciferous vegetables – cabbage, kale, broccoli, cauliflower, etc. – so must be something about the mustard oils that they need.

The caterpillars are smooth and a dark greyish green colour, but can also have variations of brown and grey. When older they can have a distinct yellow line down their back.

They can be hard to find, but if you have holes in the leaves and tell tale droppings – then look under the leaves and in the centre of the plant.

Preventative Methods

The goal here is to stop the butterflies from laying their eggs in the first place, either by discouraging them from landing – or by physically preventing them from accessing the leaves.

Mess With Their Tiny Little Minds – Decoys

The cabbage white butterfly is reputed to be territorial, meaning that it will seek out an area to lay eggs away from their comrades, this makes sense in terms of them wanting their offspring to have a food source with little competition. I keep hearing about using decoys to trick the butterflies into thinking that your patch is already occupied, techniques such as

  • tying strips of plastic to string, so it flutters
  • leaving largish segments of eggshells lying about
  • cutting white plastic into butterfly shapes, and placing on bamboo stakes

I am not entirely sure, and here is why. I have tried the string lines of white plastic bows method – and I can’t say that the cabbage white butterflies seemed to avoid the garden. n plenty of Cabbage Whites fluttering about the Broad Bean patch, and Broad Bean flowers look a lot like Cabbage Whites. They have white flowers with black spots, and I wonder if the butterflies were that concerned about look-alikes they would clear out!

Overall I am not convinced about the decoy method. I’ve seen plenty of Cabbage Whites fluttering about the Broad Bean patch, and Broad Bean flowers look a lot like Cabbage Whites. They have white flowers with black spots, and I would think that if the butterflies were that concerned about look-alikes they would clear out!

That is no scientific argument by the way, so if you think decoys are working in your garden please let me know.

Don’t Let Them In – Physical Barriers

By using a mesh, the butterflies can be prevented from landing on the leaves and laying the eggs. This can be achieved either by using a netting fabric, or metal enclosures.

The challenge is to cover each plant, if you know you need this solution at the start, then it is fairly simple to plant a row that is designed for a tunnel covering. There are also some excellent frame and netting systems available for purchase.

If you have your brassica plants dotted around the patch then each needs to be covered individually. I have started using paper bins for small seedlings, just remember to remove them often to check on the plant’s health.

Curtain netting is inexpensive, and the nylon fabrics hold up well in wet weather. Also, the discount/variety shops often have products such as pop-up laundry hampers and food covers that can make effective screens – just look for a fine mesh.

Sprays

There are two organically acceptable sprays available, the Bacillus thuringiensis (also known as bt) type sold under the brand Dipel, and a spinetoram type sold under the brand Success.

I prefer Success as it is faster acting, and holds up well when it rains.

Remember to spray under the leaves and over the stems – the spray is only effective when the leaves are covered.

** Always read the label before using, follow the mixing instructions, discard any unused sprays and clean your spraying equipment thoroughly, and use the recommended personal protective equipment **

If using sprays, please spray either early in the morning or late in the afternoon when bees are not feeding on flowering plants.

Natural Control Methods

The caterpillars can be parasitised by a wasp, with the young emerging soon after. If you see a caterpillar grub surrounded by tiny yellow cocoons wrapped in a webbing – this is a sign that the wasps have already emerged from the caterpillar and moved on to their next stage of development.

Gross But Effective – How Wasps Use Caterpillars

The female wasps lay their eggs into the caterpillars, which is still living, as they hatch and mature the wasp larvae bore out of the caterpillar and spin yellow silk cocoons around themselves. The host caterpillar attached to this cluster of yellow cocoons slowly dies.

Wasps emerge from these cocoons and the cycle continues.

If you are able to remove a few caterpillars by hand, and leave the rest to the wasps – then you can easily manage this pest without introducing sprays. You may not be able to do this in a single season, building a healthy organic garden with a population of beneficial insects takes time. It is important to have many varieties of flowering plants throughout the year to support insects like wasps.

Do you have a lot of green caterpillars in your vegetable garden? What are your best organic controls for Cabbage White Butterfly?

4 replies to «Organic Controls For Cabbage White Butterfly»

This is my first year trying to grow purple sprouting ( or any brassica ) . Where I grew broad beans close by I only found one group of yellow cabbage white eggs which I destroyed . Where I attempted to grow peas ( very poor germination ) and carrots I had many eggs laid on virtually all the plants and destroyed most , unfortunately not all !
So , I am assuming that the broad beans inhibited the butterflies . The two beds were only five yards apart , and the second group were netted too , though not very well.

Hi Alice, I came across an easy way to deter the cabbage white butterflies from my kale. I used some bubble wrap as a windbreak around a large pot of kale seedlings and they have grown successfully even with the white butterflies present in my garden. The bubble wrap seems to deter the butterflies and my kale has grown without holes for the first time ever.

I had two gardens, one for veggies and the other for various flowers (mainly annuals). Due changed circumstances I did not require the usual Veggies and planted flowers with the odd brassica intermingled with the flowers (other veggies were also grown very successfully among the flowers).

I just left all plants to do there own thing, Insect and other sprays were not used. As usual the white butterfly constantly circled the garden searching for the cabbages, cauliflower and broccoli. Only one was found.when the cabbages, cauliflowers and broccoli were ready to harvest it was discovered that all cabbages and cauliflowers et cetera were absolutely clean, there were no blemishes and there was no evidence of damage by white butterfly. From now onwards I will grow my vegetables amongst flower gardens.

I mentioned (above) that at one cabbage was found to have been attacked by white butterfly, it was growing at the edge of the garden and the white butterfly was able to lay its eggs. Because I would had not sprayed for any White butterfly or other predators the insect life amongst the plants was amazing. Because of that huge numbers of insects the birdlife was also amazing. And the birds discovered this one cabbage had been attacked by white butterfly and the birds made a feast the lavey.

I’d be interested to know if other gardeners grow vegetables amongst flowers (conversely flowers among vegetables). If so, what have the results been.

Maybe a commercial grower of cabbages and cauliflowers could consider planting the plants in rows which are a little wider apart and in between each row planting different types of flowers as a deterrent to white butterfly. There may be the opportunity to also have a second cash-flow benefit of selling flowers as well as cabbages, cauliflowers, brussels sprouts and broccoli.

You may publish this e-mail if you wish.

Hello, thank you for the great advice, I’ve been reluctant to plant out my brassicas due to the white butterflies fluttering around but now have a few tricks to try. Vernon Eugene Aynsley, I am curious as to what flowers you planted amongst your brassicas – wondering if some may deter more than others (colour/size/smell – the predators the flowers are likely to attract…). I also have a question about the eggs – I recently picked some off my kale seedlings, however, some fell into the seed raising mix the seedlings were planted in and I could not find them (so tiny)! Does anyone know if they will still hatch if not on the leaf?

mykitchengarden.com

Evil people: 20 things they do and how to deal with them

by Lachlan Brown June 28, 2018, 10:33 am

If you have ever looked at someone and thought they must be ruled by the Devil, you might not have been far off the mark.

People are a lot more evil than we tend to think and sometimes they are so seasoned at what they do that it takes us years to realize just how evil they really are.

But it’s not your fault. They are master manipulators. They take every advantage of people to get their way, get the things they want, and leave people feeling lost and broken.

There are many of them out there, and you might be interacting with an evil person regularly but you’ve just decided to label them a jerk.

It turns out they might be much more than that.

I believe there are 20 signs someone who you know is an evil person or toxic person. Check them out:

1) They enjoy watching other people be in pain.

If they laugh or smile even slightly at the thought or sight of someone suffering, this could mean trouble.

Generally, we think that karma can be a laughing matter, but when someone genuinely seems tickled pink about someone else’s pain, they might be evil.

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This reaction is actually known as schadenfreude. According to Adrian Furnham, Ph.D. in Psychology Today, it’s defined as “exquisite joy and smug satisfaction from contemplating and reveling in the misfortune of others.”

No one should look down on someone’s pain for the gain of pleasure for themselves.

2) They need to control everything.

Evil people need to have their way, and they will do everything they can to ensure that.

At every turn, they are injecting their opinion and action into a situation to ensure it goes a certain way.

At first glance, people who seem to be control freaks appear as worriers or people who like things “just so,” but if you look closer, they are people who always get what they want and will put on any face to get it.

3) They hide their true selves.

Lie much? Evil people do, and it’s because they don’t want you to see the real them.

After all, who wants to admit they are actually evil?

Not many people take pride in that kind of title. So they hide their true selves as much as possible and that means getting caught in lies on many occasions.

(Buddhism can teach us a lot about dealing with toxic people. Check out my best-selling guide to Buddhism and eastern philosophy here).

4) They leave you with a weird feeling whenever you are around them.

If you feel drained and tired after being around someone who is actually evil, you get that weird feeling in your stomach when you are around them, and something about them just doesn’t sit right with you; you might be onto something.

Don’t ignore your gut instincts about people. You are usually right.

5) They manipulate everyone.

Like lying, evil people manipulate people and situations to bend to their will. They’ll cry to turn the attention away from you toward them.

They’ll kick up a fuss if they aren’t getting their way, and guilt people into doing things for them.

It’s frightening how much evil people go to great lengths to bend fate in their favor.

They’ll even love bomb you to make you feel great, then they’ll use that feeling to manipulate you.

6) They show no remorse.

Even after hurting someone, whether by accident or on purpose, they don’t show any remorse.

You see this in court-room settings when murderers accept their sentencing without batting an eye, but you don’t usually see it in the boardroom.

It happens though, more than we’d like to admit.

And you can be assured that people who don’t show any emotions are not good people.

7) They are mean to other people.

Why would one human being be mean or cruel to another human being? Aren’t we all just trying to get through this life together?

It turns out that evil people take a great deal of joy in hurting other people and if your friend is always stabbing someone in the back, chances are they are not really your friend at all. They are extremely difficult to deal with.

8) They don’t take responsibility for their actions.

There’s no situation in which an evil person would stand up and say “yes, that was my fault.”

They are always blaming someone else when something goes wrong and they love to play the victim.

They simply won’t take responsibility for any of their wrongful actions.

9) They come with a reputation.

If you’ve heard about this person before actually meeting them, chances are the reputation is true.

For the most part, a person’s reputation really does precede them, and if you get weird vibes that go along with such a reputation, you are probably correct in assuming something is not right with this person.

10) They only come around when they need something.

What’s worse than a friend that stabs you in the back?

A friend that only calls when they need something.

And that something usually means you need to go way out of your way to help them out, which you do, because they lay on a thick guilt trip and get you to do the things they want you to do – every time.

11) They laugh at the misfortune of others.

While it might be funny to watch a trending video of someone falling on their face while walking down the road, in real life, it is not quite as funny.

If you find someone in your life taking pleasure in the misfortune of another, it might be because they are toxic.

They may tell you it’s all in good fun, but the truth is that toxic people don’t have the wherewithal to see things from other people’s perspectives and what might seem hilarious to them is quite disturbing to others.

When you think about it, it’s kind of creepy that someone would laugh at another person getting hurt.

12) You get a strange vibe from them.

It doesn’t matter what they are doing, you just can’t seem to relax around them, and you keep thinking they are going to say or do something that is not appropriate.

Evil people don’t know what boundaries are, and they like to stomp all over them anyway, so it doesn’t matter if they recognize any boundaries you have in your life.

Sometimes, you’ll feel this feeling so strong that you can’t be around someone without ever really knowing why.

Pay attention to what your gut is telling you – your body can pick up bad vibes from other bodies and will try to make you see what kind of person is really in front of you.

13) They are mean to animals.

It’s hard to believe that people are mean to animals, but it happens every day. And if the person in your life is not actually being mean to animals, but is just ignoring them, it might be just as bad.

People who have no connection to other living things are not just toxic; they are thought to be some kind of evil.

What’s more, people who hurt animals often go on to harm human beings, so steer clear of people who aren’t kind to animals.

14) They think it’s funny when they insult you.

There’s something sick and twisted about a person who tries to laugh at your expense and insults you while trying to be funny.

The two don’t go together, and it’s even worse when people try to undermine you with humor.

It’s uncomfortable for everyone. Toxic people don’t understand how humor should be used, and it’s a clear sign that you should steer clear from them.

It’s harder than you might think to put someone out of your life who is toxic, so be sure to look for these signs before you get into a relationship with someone and save yourself a lot of trouble.

15) Evil people lie. A lot.

Whether they are lying about the grocery bill or the weather, they find something to lie about on a regular basis. They can’t help it.

They need to complain or exaggerate life to make it interesting. It’s usually done at the expense of others – and they’ll lie about other people, too.

It’s awkward when you catch someone in a lie, but that doesn’t mean you should shy away from calling someone out on their lies.

It might mean that you can’t work with someone or be with someone anymore if their lies are starting to impact your life, but it is a necessary step to remove the toxic person from your life.

16) Evil people manipulate everything and everyone.

You’ll know a toxic person when you see them trying to get everyone to do everything for them.

They will find a way to get someone to do just about anything they want, and it’s usually achieved by the person through making someone feel bad, putting them down, or being downright mean to them.

17) They make people feel stupid.

Whether you are sharing a dream or a fear, a toxic person will find a way to tell you that it’s stupid.

This can be destructive for many reasons, not the least of which is that it makes you feel like they don’t care about you and what happens to do.

This is common in abusive relationships, but also between friends where one is toxic and takes out their thoughts and feelings on the other, seemingly weaker friend.

18) They don’t know what guilt is.

One of the weirdest things about an evil person is that they don’t feel bad for their actions.

They’ll never apologize for what they’ve done unless it benefits them in some way; think abusive relationships where one partner promises to never “do it again” and then turns around and does it all over again. It’s called a vicious cycle for a reason.

19) Evil people don’t get it.

One of the big red flags about someone who is toxic and evil is that they can’t feel empathy.

Regardless of the situation, they cannot put themselves in someone else’s shoes…or, they don’t want to. If you come across someone who can’t see the misery they are causing, it’s likely they are toxic.

20) Everything is about them.

They’ll manipulate or lie to get anything they want. How they affect other people simply doesn’t matter.

If you’re in their way, watch out, because they’ll have no remorse in hurting your feelings to get what they want.

(Manipulative and toxic people can only ruin your life if you let them. Learn how to stand up for yourself by embracing your inner beast. Find out how in Ideapod’s free masterclass)

How To Deal With an Evil Person

1) Set limits

Evil and toxic people will wallow in their problems and won’t care about yours. You’ll feel pressure to listen to their complaining and negativity but DON”T get sucked in.

You can avoid this by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary.

When they’re complaining about someone, ask how they intend to fix the problem. They won’t have an answer and you can end the conversation.

2) Don’t die in a fight

You’ll feel a lot of unchecked emotion when you talk to an evil person. Don’t let that emotion get the better of you.

Stay calm and collected and realize that they’re just evil and you’re not. Be mindful about the way you’re reacting and take the higher ground.

3) Rise above and don’t get sucked in

Evil and toxic people can drive you mad because their behavior doesn’t make sense.

So remember, when their behavior has no logical reason to it, why would you let yourself get sucked into it?

Get away from them emotionally. You don’t need to respond.

4) Stay aware of your emotions

You can stop someone from your pushing your buttons but staying aware of your feelings. Look at your reactions, take a step back and ask yourself what the rational way to respond is.

This is a time when practicing mindfulness and being aware of yourself without negatively judging is handy.

5) Establish boundaries

Just because you have to engage with a toxic or evil person at work doesn’t mean you have to be friends with them. Establish your boundaries and stick to them.

6) Don’t let anyone limit your joy

You’re in charge of your experience of reality. Don’t let someone who is irrational and evil ruin your day.

Choose to see the things that you want to see in life and ignore all else. This is your ship and you’re in charge of where it sails.

7) Focus on solutions, not problems

Don’t just focus o the horrible characteristics of this evil person. Choose to look at the solutions. How can you avoid spending time with this person?

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How can you avoid getting locked in conversations with them?

In Conclusion

If you know anyone who matches this criterion, then it’s best that you stay away. Evil people don’t care about other people’s feelings, and they’ll have no remorse in getting what they want.

If you can’t get away from an evil or toxic person, then I suggest you have a look into the Gray Rock Method. This is a known method on how to deal with a toxic person you can’t avoid.

Watch out for these signs that someone wants to destroy you

According to the author of 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life, approximately 80 to 90 percent of people are who they say they are and they’ll do what they’ll say they’ll do.

However, the bad news is that there is 10 percent of bad people who can negatively affect your life if they decide to target you.

She says that they can destroy your reputation and even your career. This is because these people have a “high-conflict personality”.

The number one sign of this kind of personality?

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They cause conflicts compulsively, and they focus in on one person – and verbally, emotionally and sometimes violently attack them even if the initial conflict was minor.

Now it’s fair to say that we want to avoid these kinds of people, so if you think you’ve encountered someone who might be like this, look for these signs:

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1) All-or-nothing language

They tend to make statements such as, “people are ALWAYS rude to me” or “people ALWAYS disrespect me”.

They’ll try to get you on their side by making it seem like the world is against them.

Over time you’ll see that it’s really them vs the world.

2) Emotional intensity

They can be incredibly negative. If something is a minor inconvenience, they’ll still act like it is the worst thing in the world.

Also, they might struggle to respect your boundaries, and they’ll get uncomfortable if you don’t take their side in an argument.

3) Aggression

This is a big one. Not only do they get annoyed easily but they’ll do so in an aggressive manner.

Even if they appear nice, they’ll suddenly react aggressively to something even minor.

Then after that, they’ll deny that they reacted aggressively.

4) Blaming others

As we mentioned above about evil people, no matter what it is, nothing is their fault. They don’t take responsibility for anything.

If you’ve noticed these signs, then you’ll want to proceed with caution.

Here’s what you shouldn’t do when dealing with a high conflict personality that wants to destroy you:

5 things NOT to do to a high conflict personality

1) Don’t try to give them insight into their behavior.

It will fall on deaf ears and will only cause more conflict.

2) Don’t ask about past events.

They’ll play the blame game and act like the world is against them.

3) Try to avoid emotional confrontations.

Don’t get upset or emotionally reactive. Be calm, logical and detached.

4) Telling them they have a personality disorder is a bad idea.

This will only serve to escalate the tension. Make sure to keep your wits about you to avoid getting attached emotionally.

You want to limit the amount of time you spend with these people, and there’s no benefit in starting fights with them.

If you can’t avoid being with someone like this, then don’t get attached to anything they say. You just have to rise above and focus on your actions. Act with integrity and don’t let anything they say to get you down.

How to tell if someone wants to hurt you

It can be tough to figure out whether someone wants to hurt you.

After all, sometimes people hurt others but they don’t know they’re doing so. They’re simply careless.

Other times, however, someone could be trying to hurt you, and that’s what you need to watch out for, particularly if they’re an evil person.

So here’s what to do if you think someone is trying to hurt you.

1) Is it intentional? Or is it a misunderstanding?

This is important to know. It’s important to listen to your intuition to figure out whether it’s intentional or not.

You will most likely know. If you’re unsure, then it probably means that it’s not intentional.

If you think that they’re an evil person (as we described above) then they’re most likely trying to hurt you.

Here are some signs that someone could be intentionally trying to hurt you:

1) Are they using belittling, mixed signals and redirection tactics to make you feel like you’re not important?

Sometimes this could be that whenever you express your opinion, they simply redirect the topic to something else.

Or they’ll try to make your opinion look like crap.

If they consistently do manipulation tactics like this, then they might have something against you.

2) Do they play upon your insecurities and fears?

This will usually come from someone that knows you better than others. They know what makes you weak and they regularly bring it up because they know it gets you down.

They’re trying to make you less confident.

This should be obvious. It’s important not to internalize what they say. After all, they’re just trying to get to you. Don’t get emotionally attached to anything they say.

3) They bring you down but pretend like it’s for your own good.

If they’re telling you what’s wrong with you, then you need to watch out. This is especially the case if they’re pretending like it’s coming from a valid and concerned place.

All they are doing is trying to bring you down so they can bring themselves up. Don’t fall for it.

4) They’ll also try to isolate you.

They don’t want you to get confidence and power, so they’ll start insulting people who are close to you.

They want to break up anything that gives you power, which is those who are close to you.

Keeping you isolated from others enables them to have control over you, and that’s when they feel comfortable.

The result of all of these actions is to get you to not trust yourself. They want to hurt you, and one of the best ways to do that is to reduce your confidence and self-worth.

If you think that someone is trying to hurt you, here’s what you can do:

1) Don’t be defensive and react with hostility.

Don’t get attached to what they say. If someone did try to hurt you, don’t attack them.

This will only cause a battle to ensue. Be logical, explain your position in a reasonable and non-attached manner and try to keep the peace.

This doesn’t mean backing down. It means responding without emotional attachment. Emotional reactions are usually what causes things to escalate.

2) Forget about being right.

If they are narcissistic or they have high conflict personalities, there’s no point in trying to win an argument. They’ll always think they’re right and they’ll never change their position no matter what the evidence says.

Simply disagree, don’t be reactive and get on with life.

3) If you’ve done something wrong, apologize.

If you’ve done something wrong (a legitimate wrong, not something they think you’ve done wrong) then you should apologize. It will keep the peace, and you’ll be someone who is acting with integrity.

Remember, don’t get sucked in and rise above. Nothing outside yourself can affect you. Keep your cool, and focus on what will make you happy.

Signs someone looks down on you

If you’ve encountered someone who looks down on you, you can probably feel that something isn’t quite right.

After all, they feel like they’re better than you and they’re not giving you the respect you deserve.

Quite frankly, these people are annoying to be around, and you’ll want to know quick smart if they are looking down on you.

If you think they are, look for these signs:

1) They are raising their eyebrow.

This is a common body language sign that someone is looking down on you.

They’re second-guessing who you are and what your choices are.

A raised eyebrow is a sign of a lack of respect.

2) They give you the “really?” face.

We all recognize this face. They are passing judgment and second-guessing you.

They think that they wouldn’t do what you just did or said.

3) They shake their head when they give their opinion about something you did.

This is in the same vein as above. They’re disrespecting your opinion or action and telling you that they wouldn’t do the same.

4) They roll their eyes at what you say.

This is just a way to communicate their disbelief and dissatisfaction with you.

If you’re in a conversation and they do this, then they have little respect for what you say.

5) They are saying “what” a lot.

They’re not listening to you, and they can’t believe that they are stuck in a conversation with you.

They don’t respect you, and they think that they’re too good to grace you with their ears.

6) They don’t let you speak.

Perhaps they’ll change the topic when you start speaking, or they’ll start speaking as soon as they see an opportunity (even though you’re talking).

They just can’t be bothered listening to anything you have to say.

7) They keep giving you advice, even though you didn’t ask for it.

They think they’re better than you and that anything you’ve done in life; they’ve done or would be able to do.

Every choice you make or action you take, they’ll have something negative to say. They think that they’re a higher functioning person than you.

If you run into any of these people, then it’s best to stay away. They think that they’re better than you and they won’t give you respect. You deserve better!

How this one Buddhist teaching turned my life around

My lowest ebb was around 6 years ago.

I was a guy in my mid-20s who was lifting boxes all day in a warehouse. I had few satisfying relationships – with friends or women – and a monkey mind that wouldn’t shut itself off.

During that time, I lived with anxiety, insomnia and way too much useless thinking going on in my head.

My life seemed to be going nowhere. I was a ridiculously average guy and deeply unhappy to boot.

The turning point for me was when I discovered Buddhism.

By reading everything I could about Buddhism and other eastern philosophies, I finally learned how to let things go that were weighing me down, including my seemingly hopeless career prospects and disappointing personal relationships.

In many ways, Buddhism is all about letting things go. Letting go helps us break away from negative thoughts and behaviors that do not serve us, as well as loosening the grip on all our attachments.

Fast forward 6 years and I’m now the founder of Hack Spirit, one of the leading self improvement blogs on the internet.

Just to be clear: I’m not a Buddhist. I have no spiritual inclinations at all. I’m just a regular guy who turned his life around by adopting some amazing teachings from eastern philosophy.

hackspirit.com

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